Friday, May 26, 2017

Orb of Power

The question has been on everyone's mind since last Sunday. Well, everybody on the Internet anyway. What is that glowing orb of power thing in Saudi Arabia, and why is President Donald Trump touching it? Speculation online has ranged from a magical Illuminati world domination device, to a mysterious power source salvaged from an alien spacecraft, to a particularly goofy-looking decoration.

But what's the truth? Is it even out there?

On Sunday, an image exploded across the Internet of Donald Trump, Saudi Arabia’s King Salman, and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sissi placing their hands on a glowing orb, surrounded by pleasant onlookers. No one, even those who claim to, really understands why.

Newsweek promised to demystify the viral orbgasm in an article published Sunday called “Why Donald Trump Touched a Glowing Orb in Saudi Arabia.” The article cooly explains that the image depicts Trump at the opening of the Global Center for Combatting Extremist Ideology in Riyadh. But why is he touching a glowing orb? “During the center’s opening ceremony,” the article goes on, “the leaders placed their hands on the globe in a gesture of solidarity to launch the center.” No, I am not satisfied with this explanation. Glowing orbs conjure images of sorcery, Middle Earth, and Sith Lords. They are not symbols of global solidarity.

Literally anything else makes more sense.

As a point, the orb shown here isn't what real magical items, tools, and devices look like. It's what magical items, tools, and devices look like in fantasy movies and Dungeons & Dragons. I have seen a few practitioners put lights under their scrying crystals, which is about the closest thing you'll find that a real magician would use, but still.

Keep in mind I don't really care whether or not the President touches somebody's glowing orb, as long it's all consensual. I just want to know what the darn thing is. Saudi Arabia is known for its anti-witchcraft squad, so maybe the orb is an implement of forbidden magick that they retrieved while trying to keep their kingdom safe from the ravages of evil wizards.

I think King Salman there in the middle knows the true dark origin of the orb. Look at his expression - he looks really, really nervous about touching the thing. Trump, on the other hand, looks entirely oblivious.

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