Friday, September 8, 2017

Christian Wizard Battles Hurricane Irma


The thing that I never really understood about Christians who are down on working magick is that a lot of them work magick all the time. Now I sort of understand that Christianity's oversimplified model of the spirit world means that working with "demons" - that is, chthonic spirits - would be considered bad. But a lot of Christian magicians work with angels and the like, or just call on Jesus directly.

Here's a case in point - evangelist Kat Kerr working magick against Hurricane Irma.

For some reason, Christian “Prophetess” Kat Kerr thinks she can stop Hurricane Irma by “taking authority over it” and using her scepter to crush the weather. Because Jesus.

"...I make a ruling that storm will leave this area, will leave the coast. I will not tolerate its presence anywhere on the coast of Florida. And I’m commanding it to leave and get back out in the ocean. At the same time, it’ll dissipate. So I command the millibars in that hurricane, you RISE right now. You keep rising, and rising, and rising till the storm will be downgraded, downgraded, downgraded..."

She should’ve at least used a lightsaber. It would’ve accomplished the same thing and been more colorful.

This video was posted Monday, and since then Irma has intensified. It also is headed straight for Florida. So clearly, this spell didn't work. Now I don't mean to knock Christians who practice magick - there are plenty of them out there, they just usually call it "prayer." But if they're praying for some particular outcome, rather than simply as a devotional practice, what they're doing is magick. And they should own that.

As for Kerr, I wonder how many donations she's raised based on her alleged spiritual powers. My guess is those folks all got ripped off, because clearly she's not a very good magician. A good magician should have gotten some sort of an effect that was unusual or at least a little hard to explain. But Irma so far has followed the meteorological predictions perfectly.

I suppose it remains to be seen if anything strange happens, but the hurricane has almost reached Florida. Given the nature of her charge, Kerr is running out of time. And so is Jesus, seeing as he's who she's calling on to get it done.

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